You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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