Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize