My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hippo gnu deer
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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