There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
