Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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