So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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