Where did you get a picture of my penis
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize