My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's blow job season.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
