So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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