I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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