Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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