once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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