btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
