Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
