names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
