Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
