Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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