Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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