I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
