i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
