My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
