I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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