i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
