ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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