just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
