You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm at about main and main street
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
