Jerry, you need to find god
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize