They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
