so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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