You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
