If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
