Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
