No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
