why didn't you poke me back
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
