the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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