my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
