well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
