Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
