She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
God I need to hump something, right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
