A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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