Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
