Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
