I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
