Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
