I am in a vortex of obligation.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it's like iHOP with fire
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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