Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
