5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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