dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
