help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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