Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He? As in you personified your dick?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
