I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
