im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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