In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
