Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think your dad took our porno
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
