I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
