did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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