I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
