It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
