I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
