this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
