so that wasnt chicken after all
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
