Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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