who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
