I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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