he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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