physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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